Save Yourself
by moccamary
Summary: After 1x01. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with ony 31days left to live. 31days is what the doctors have given her. There's only one thing Blair wants to experiance before death - true love.
1. Back In The City

**Summary: **31days-744hours-44640minutes-2678400seconds. That's all what's left of the great Blair Waldorf. 31days is what the doctors have given her. Not more. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with ony 31days left to live. There's only one thing Blair wants to experiance - true love.

**A/N: **so, I'm a german girl, which means that, although I've been learning english for over 7 years now, writing this fanfic in english is kind of hard for me. so please consider that when you read it! Feedback is LOVE!

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**Chapter 1**

**"Back In The City"**

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The plane was bouncing and shaking in the air while the pilot was getting ready for landing. Blair Cornelia Waldorf, the uncrowned queen of the Upper East Side, surely had found the comfort of a first class seat. So finally, after nearly 2 months away in Europe, she was returning home. New York.

But as far as she was concerned nothing changed in a good way.

The only reason she had been off to France in the first place was the disastrous break-up with her long-year relationship Nathanial Archibald whom she had considered to be the perfect husband after High School. Until he had told her about his "mistake" with her best friend.

Serena Van der Woodsen.

Oh, hell! Blair so didn't want to meet this it-girl again! Everyone was just obsessed with Serena, even Blair's own mother Elenor Waldorf. And if you didn't believe it, you just simply had to ask Nate about it, right?!

But as mentioned before, things had degraded. Just thinking about it made little tears appearing in her eyes. At the chateau of her dad and his boyfriend Roman she had fallen down a stairway and attached her head. After 2 days, as she was told, because she couldn't remember anything, she had woken up in a privat room of the best hospital in France.

But when the doctors told her, that she had an uncurable brain-damage Blair had been near passing out again.

The nicest doctor of the clinic, Dr. Belaneaux, had told her that the damage didn't certainly have to be caused by the fall. It could have been there before and that she could deem herself lucky that it was discovered.

Right! Consider yourself lucky when you're told that you have only 31days left to live. And that at the age of 17. Luckily she had had a great birthday party with her dad before those serious news.

Her father had called her mother immediatelly and had told her about the disaster. Not the cleverest move to make, because it had caused the biggest fight between the two of them since they had fought about the millions on their bank accounts. Both of them wanted to have Blair with them for the last time.

Blair had proposed to spend one more week with her father and then to return to New York.

So to be straight, Blair Waldorf would be dead in 24 days. Not 31.

When the plane finally touched the ground Blair was shaking of the dark thought about the goodbye to France. She had left her father, Roman and "Cat" behind.

There was one thing she had to do before she would leave her life behind. Blair wanted to experiance true love and her first time. And Queen B wouldn't be Queen B if she hadn't already made plans when she went out of the airport and into the black Mercedes her mother had sent to get her.

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Hello Upper East Siders.

Gossip Girl here.

You won't believe who's back in town. No other than B has been spotted climbing of the plane. Seems like someone finally returned home. But what will N think? Does he even know about his ex's plans? And how will S react when she discovers her ex-best friend returned?

Will those two beauties talk thinks out? But we all know B. So watch out for a bitch-fight!

I will be around to tell you all about it!

You know you love me.

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

-----

Chuck quickly answered the phone when his typical melody started to play in his pocket.

"Nate."

"Hey, man! What are you doing?"

"Nathanial. I know what you wanna talk about. I subscribed to Gossip Girl, too, remember? I'd say the whole city is talking about her return."

"Yeah. I know. It's just that I don't know what to say to her. Before she left I tried to talk to her and apologize for everything that happened but she just wouldn't listen. And now with her absence for over 2 months I don't think we'll switch back to normal."

Chuck, casually swinging the scotch in his glass, smirked.

It was normal for his friend Nate to be all anxious. And now that Blair had finally made her way back to New York things were going to get interesting. At least for himself.

"Look, man, just wait for her to come to you. You still want her, don't you? Or have you changed your mind and make out with Serena instead?"

"No, Chuck. I think I missed Blair. Perhaps I should go to her and bring her some flowers. Talk to you later, Chuck."

Nate had hung up on him. Depositing his phone on the bar, Chuck drank up the scotch and signalized the bartender to bring some more. He had to celebrate, because with Blair around everything was going to get interesting. There was some serious trouble to come and who enjoyed trouble more than Chuck Bass?!


	2. Overwhelming Embrace

**Summary: **31days-744hours-44640minutes-2678400seconds. That's all what's left of the great Blair Waldorf. 31days is what the doctors have given her. Not more. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with ony 31days left to live. There's only one thing Blair wants to experiance - true love.

**A/N: **Second Chapter *yay* Sorry that there's still not too much action in here, but believe me: There will be some real drama! Perhaps I won't be able to post the next chapter this week, because I have a really tough French test this thursday. But you never know what happens ;)

Feedback is LOVE!!!

Sry... had to upload this chapter again, because there where some spelling mistakes. That reminds me that it would be great to have a BETA :D

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**Chapter 2**

**"Overwhelming Embrace"**

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After driving for about 30 minutes the driver finally stopped in front of the entrance to her home. It had been home to Blair for a very long time and now this house was going to be the last home on her journey.

Looking forward to get a nap after being awake on the whole 9 hour flight Blair opened the door of her car and walked through the beautiful, golden framed door into the lobby.

"Welcome, Miss Waldorf", one of the concierges greeted her.

"Thank you. Could you please make sure that my luggage is brought upstairs?"

"Sure, Miss Waldorf."

Blair went on and stepped into the elevator. Nothing had changed since she had left. Would it be the same with the people? Her friends?

Although Blair had decided to get a little revenge on Serena, she wasn't sure if she really wanted to. Just having a friend, a true one, would be great again.

The most important point on her to-do list was Nate. She had missed him.

Lying in the hospital Blair had thought about him most of the time. She missed kissing him, laughing with him about some silly gossip or just hanging out with him.

She had missed having a boyfriend.

But all of her thoughts were forgotten when the elevator came to a stop and the door opened. Suddenly she was in an heartfelt embrace and Blair suddenly realized that it was her mother.

"Mom. What are you doing?"

Eleanor Waldorf had never greeted her daughter that way in her entire life.

"I'm welcoming my little girl. You look great, Blair. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom. But could we just pretend that everything was normal. I don't want anything to change. At least not that much."

"Sure, darling. I thing Darota wants to hug you, too. She's upstairs in your room prepairing your bed. I thought you might be tired."

"Yes. Thanks."

Blair went upstairs and found her room in all its glory. She had loved this room, because her father had designed it for her before her parents got divorced. This room made Blair feel save and secure.

"Miss Blair!"

And without seeing it coming, Blair Waldorf found herself in another embrace.

"Darota. It's ok. I'm home now."

Blair pated Darota's back and tried to calm her nanny down.

"Darota, I want to sleep for a little while now. The flight was very long and exhausting."

"Sure, Miss Blair. You need anything, call me."

And finally Blair Waldorf was alone. She didn't even take the time to change, she didn't even think about Nate, but immediatelly laid down on her bed and fell asleep.

-----

"Miss Waldorf. Miss Waldorf."

What the hell was that! What was wrong with her body?

Why was every bit of it shaking when she didn't want it to?

Suddenly Blair realized, that someone, obviously Darota, was shaking her to wake her up. And it wasn't that hard as she thought. Instead Darota was just lightly shaking her shoulder.

"Hmm?", she asked with only one open eye, because it couldn't have been too long since she fell asleep. The sun was still up and shining happily right through her window onto her bed.

"Miss Blair,Mr Nate for you.", Darota told her.

"What!?"

All of a sudden Blair didn't feel tired anymore. Nate was here to see her. After all they'd been through he came to her. Blair didn't have to run after him and his new girlfriend. Surely he had one. Someone like Nate Archibald didn't stay single for a long time. He was just too cute!

Well, even if Nate had had a new lover, Blair wouldn't have run after him. Never! What a silly thing to think about! She smiled. She had thought of some charade to make them break up.

Actually that was still the plan.

"Tell him I'll be down in a minute.", she said and pushed a confused looking Darota out of the room.

Throwing a glance at herself in the mirror, Blair convinced herself that her hair was still in place and that her dress wasn't all crumpled. Then she walked through the door and into the last chapter of her life.

-----

Chuck Bass was still sitting at the same spot he had sat before, when Nate had decided to call him. The only thing that had changed was the number of scotch glasses he'd emptied. But a Bass didn't get too drunk. His body had been trained for many years to absorb all kind of alcoholic drinks.

His mood increased even more when he saw a tall blonde walking towards him.

As always, Serena looked stunning even though she was only wearing a jeans, a red top and a pair of the newest Jimmy Choo's. - Sexy, red ones.

Chuck noticed amused that every guy in the entire room was starring at her.

"Uch, Chuck. Why are you smirking?"

"It's called smiling. You know, it's just amusing to watch all the guys in here starig at you while their girls sit beside them and try to get the attention of their dates back."

"If that's called smilling I don't wanna see you smirk. Ever!", Serena said, ignoring the other half of his comment.

She was used to the attention she got by men. Ever since she had turned 13 everyone considered her beautiful and model-like. Not that she cared much. To get too much attention was not always a good thing. Especially in High School on the Upper East Side with Gossip Girl around.

"So, what do you want from me?", Chuck asked, a new full glass of scotch in his hands.

"I know, you will be shocked to hear that and believe me, I am, too, but I would like to ask your advice."

"Really?! Why would I give you some. Not that you were interested in paying me back." He looked at her from top to bottom. When he was back at her face and Serena hadn't said anything, he added: "Are you?"

"Gross!!! Chuck!". She slapped his arm.

"Then what makes you think I will help you with anything?"

"Chuck.", Serena started, trying not to become rude, because she knew she wouldn't get anything from Chuck then. "I think you already heard that Blair is back in New York and I wanted to ask you if you knew any way to convince her to forgive me for...well... you know what."

The smirk was back on Chuck's face and Serena could tell from the glint in his eyes that he would call it a smirk now, himself.

"And what makes you think that I know how to convince Blair in any way?"

Serena was getting more and more pissed. This had been a bad idea. Chuck Bass wasn't the type of person you frivolously asked for anything. Exept you were looking for a quickie. But which girl, that wasn't a slut would do that?!

"You both are of the same kind. You both love plotting and taking down people you dislike. Actually all sorts of people. So I just want to know if there was any chance you'd forgive me if you were Blair. Please!"

Finally Chuck gave up. This whole "try-to drive-Serena-crazy" game was getting lame.

"I wouldn't. You two have been best friends for ages and she and Nate have been in a realtionship for nearly the same time. If Blair didn't find a new lover in France you have a good chance that she'll be to destroy you. Literally! At least, that's what I'd do if I was her."

He grinned, stood up and walked out of the bar back to his suite, leaving a shocked Serena behind.

-----

**Hello Upper East Siders. **

**Gossip Girl here.**

If you have wondered where I was: there has been an unbelievable sale at Henri Bendel's.

It pays off to have contacts.

For all those of you who nearly died without having any new gossip, here's your lifesaver!

As we all know Queen B is back in town, but wasn't seen anywhere after entering her house. What's up B? Are you hiding anything? Not like I wouldn't find out about your dirty secrets anyway.

However, N was spotted entering the same building. In his hands a bouquet of roses. Already switching back to normal with B? - I don't think so.

Also Spotted: S talking to a comfortable looking C at the bar of the Palace hotel. What disposed her to do THAT!

Ten minutes later C left a shocked looking S at the bar.

Just a little hint, S: You don't play with the devil if you're ot ready to loose your soul.

You know you love me.

**XOXO,**

**Gossip Girl**

**-----**

**A/N:** If anyone has MSN and is a quick Beta I would be glad to be contacted since I'm to lazy to reread my chapters over and over again, looking for spelling and grammare mistakes. If there are still some left: SORRY!


	3. Invitations & Intentions

**Summary: **31days-744hours-44640minutes-2678400seconds. That's all what's left of the great Blair Waldorf. 31days is what the doctors have given her. Not more. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with ony 31days left to live. There's only one thing Blair wants to experiance - true love.

**A/N: **Finally I'm done with my tests, at least for some weeks. So I hope that I will be able to update the chapters regularly.

This chapter didn't really turn out the way I wanted it to. Anyways you can look forward to some really scandals in the next chapters.

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**Chapter 3**

**"Invitations & Intentions"**

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Before Blair Waldorf reached the bottom of the stairway, she saw him. It was like she'd never left for France.

He was standing with the back towards her, looking out of the window that had an amazing view over half New York.

When she took the last step he turned around and his deep blue eyes met hers. Blair would have never forgotten this eyes. They haunted her in her dreams during her absence. Since she'd last looked into them and couldn't stand what she'd seen right then.

Nate had cheated on her with Serena. Serena of all people!

But now, Nate's eyes were filled with delight.

He was happy to see her, she realized. Was that even possible? Or was Nate just checking if she was capable of finding out that he'd moved on?!

Her gaze went down his appearence and her heart skipped a beat when she saw that NAte had brought her flowers. Red roses.

"Blair", he whispered. He seemed to be as nervous has she was.

She looked up and again lost herself in this unbelievable eyes.

"Blair, can you forgive me for the actions of that night? I know that it broke your heart, but I've been another guy back then than I'm now. I couldn't stop thinking about you since you left so abruptly. You're the one I love."

"Oh, Nate. I missed you more than you can ever imagine.", Blair sighed and stepped forward into Nate's open arms. When he tenderly touched her cheek and kissed her, she realized what she had known all along. This was were she belonged. This was "home".

"You know," , he said into her hear, so that the rest of the world wouldn't hear it,"I missed you more"

Before their lips met again for another kiss, Blair whispered: " I forgive you, Nate Archibald."

-----

Hello, Upper East Siders.

It's me again. Gossip Girl.

Hope I didn't wake you up from a dream about diamonds, lovers or whatsoever. But although it's only 10a.m. there's a lot going on.

B and N where spotted leaving B's 2 hours ago. Seems like someone had a nice get-together.

You know what they say: make-up sex is the best!

Thanks to my source Cam302 we know where they were headed to. Breakfast. After some romantic croissants, I'm looking forward to see what scandel is on the menu.

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

----

He woke, when the sun hit his face.

Next thing he noticed was the small and delicate body that was laying next to him.

Right, after this wierd Serena-conversation Chuck had headed to his suite, where he had ran across the chambermaid, who had been cleaning his bedroom. In his typical Bass-mannor he had seduced her.

Changing women every night. That was Chuck Bass.

If Floreine (wait, was that her name?) was a lucky girl, there would be some post on gossip girl that mansioned her. That would be the lucky minute of her life. For just a little while she would be the gossip every Upper East Sider read about. But that moment would be over all too soon, and she would return to be noone.

Chuck Bass didn't care.

When he had dressed and ready to leave, the girl was still asleep on his bed. Anyways, Chuck didn't care and left the suite. By the time he would return tonight with another conquest in his arms, the girl of last night would have been gone.

Chuck Bass just entered the lobby, when his phone rang and informed him about the latest gossip girl news.

So Nate had really run back to Blair like a loyal dog. Poor Nathaniel. He would never learn how to free himself from any responsability.

Chuck new Nate well. But that was othing special when you considered that they new each other since kidergarden.

So, the only reason, Chuck Bass could thik of, that would explain his friend's behaviour was that Nate still felt guilty about his aberration.

Time for a little game.

-----

"Hey, Waldorf. Welcome Back to town.", Chuck greeted her, as she picked up her phone.

She had just gotten home after the amazing breakfast with Nate and it seemed like she was back in a relationship.

"Bass. It's a little early for you, don't you just come out your coffin when it's dark to seduce innocent, young girls?!"

"Funny. I just thought it was nice of me to have you back. You know, there's no good scandel without you around."

"I'm sure there was something." Blair grinned. "But I know it must have been hard for you to do all the plotting and destroying by yourself."

She could literally see Chuck smirk on the other and of the phone.

"I died of annoyance, Waldorf. What about a little party to welcome you back?"

"You're just looking for a good explanation to get drunk..."

"I don't need an excuse to get drunk.", he interupted her.

"Nothing to brag about, Prince Charming.", she repeated sharply, pissed that he'd interrupted her.

"... and you wanna be around me to find out why I've been gone for so long. You wanna discover some big scandel to plast about on Gossip Girl. But that won't work, Bass!"

"So see ya at 8p.m. at Victrola. Nate will know how to get there."

With this words he'd hang up on her.

Typical. Chuck didn't listen to anything she said. Actually he didn't listen to anyone. But that was beyond the point.

A smile made it's way to Blair's face. Perhaps this party wasn't that bad after all. There were only some weeks left for her that she wanted to live as intensily as possible. And if someone knew how to throw a good party, it was Chuck Bass.

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Hello, Upper East Siders.

Gossip Girl again.

I've just been informed that there's going to be a party at Victrola's tonight.

Congratz to all who are invited.

Because, for all I know, a C party doesn't end without, at least, one discovered scandal.

The only thing that bothers me, is that I don't have any informations about B's "vacation" in France. Keep digging, guys.

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

**-----**

**A/N:** reviews are love.

and I promise, there will be some real chemisty between CB during the Victrola party ;)


	4. A Place To Escape

**Summary: **31days-744hours-44640minutes-2678400seconds. That's all what's left of the great Blair Waldorf. 31days is what the doctors have given her. Not more. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with ony 31days left to live. There's only one thing Blair wants to experiance - true love.

**A/N: **Here it is. Finally! I've been really busy with school and tests, so I didn't find enough time to write on. Hopefully you enjoy the new chapter. Reviews are LOVE!

At this point, thank you to everyone who already reviewed and a big kiss to Lily, the great girl that agreed to beta this fanfiction! THANK YOU!

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**Chapter 4**

**"A Place to escape"**

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Blair examined herself over in the mirrow. Something was missing. Although she didn't know anything about the _Victrola_ club, she knew that Chuck had bought it while she'd been away to Europe. So this club was sure to be something exclusive and Bass-like... and the name sounded devilish in her ears.

She couldn't appear at one of her last parties overdressed. The same way, she couldn't just wear one her typical outfits. An underdressed Blair Waldorf would never be seen in public!

Still. Something was missing.

The red dress she was wearing was an Eleanor Waldorf original, looking very expensive and special flamenco dress. Nevertheless, it was pretty classic in its own way and would make her be the center of everyone's attention. She had combined it with black Manolos and a black headband which had little red crystals on it. Her long hair waved in curles over her back and fell over her shoulders elegantly.

"What you think about bracelet, Miss Blair?", asked Dorota in her unforgettable Polish accent.

"You're right, Dorota. I knew something was missing.

Blair went to her jewelry drawer and opened one of the many black boxes.

"This is perfect!", she sighed and gave it to Darota to help her putting it on.

"Miss Blair looking like a princess tonight.", Darota told her and looked at her amiable.

"Thank you. So where is my Prince, then? Nate should have been here 10 minutes ago."

Dorota instantly blanched and looked at Blair anxiously.

"Miss Blair, I forgot to tell. Mr Nate's been here for 30 minutes."

"You did what?!" Blair fought with her temper. Nate, here prince, had been waiting for her downstairs for half an hour and Dorota had simply _forgotten_ it?!

As fast as her high heels allowed her, she rushed down and found Nate sitting comfortably on the couch. He seemed to be in an interesting conversation with her mother.

Fantastic. Just when she'd gotten back to her life ad her relationship with Nate and tried to enjoy her last days with the one she loved, her mother would pressure Nate and their relationship so much, that he'd immediatelly push her away for Serena again. Or another woman, he'd met, Blair didn't even know about. But he would push her away. Forever, this time.

_Temper...don't hyperventilate!_ she told herself. A lady didn't get panic attacks.

"Mom!", she said out loud, trying to calm herself and look as presentable as she could with all the emotions running through her body.

When Nate noticed she was already there and actually ready to go, he stood up and kissed her. He pulled her closer and she could feel one of her legs flip back, just like in those old movies Blair loved so much.

And just like that, her worries vanished.

To early Nate let her go and turned towards Eleanor again

"Eleanor, it was really nice to talk to you after this long time. As I told you, we are going to a party, but I'll make sure Blair is home by 12 o'clock."

"Thank you, Nate. Enjoy yourselves."

-----

"Your mother seemed quite different today. All so cheerful and friendly. What happened?", Nate asked her curiously as they had entered the black limousine that had waited for them right in front of Blair's house. Obviously Chuck had sent it to pick them up.

So there it was again. The one question Blair had hoped to be able to avoid. She didn't want to tell anyone about her fate, because that would be the way everybody would treat her then: like a moribund girl.

How would she be able to live the rest of her life to the full, if everyone would stare at her like she had the Black Death?

No!

That would never happen. Not to her. Not to Blair Cornelia Waldorf.

"I don't know. She's been this way since I came back. Perhaps she has gotten loose of her latest conquest and found a new lover."

Nate threw a sceptic look at her. She smiled at him"Ok, I knew I sad I liked the last one, but whatever makes her so happy is good for me.", and leaned in to kiss him passionately. Nate immediatly returned the kiss and when they pulled away to get some air, Blair added: "Especially if it allows me to go out and do whatever I want with my gorgeous looking boyfriend without second-guessing me."

During the rest of the ride, Blair looked out of the window at the streets of New York. The nightlife and the lights that enlightened every corner and made everything, every building and every pedestrian, look like in a movie.

Nate used the chance to watch her diligently. Something had changed about his Blair. She didn't have that bitchy attitude anymore that told everyone around her to get away.

Ok, she would never be that friendly girl, that innocently looked and talked to people without following her own ambitions; but still, something had changed.

But Nate wasn't able to spot it.

The weeks in France and of corse his sexual incident with Serena, had turned his girlfriend into another person; maybe even a young woman, but Nate wasn't sure if he liked the new Blair.

-----

When Blair entered _Victrola_, the first thought she had was that the driver had taken them to the wrong adress or that Chuck was playing a joke on her. This had to be a mistake!

Although the entrance hall and the main "room" were full of people, who were dancing, talking and having drinks, this place couldn't be the right party!

Gross! There was a stage at the end of the room with half naked women dancing. Grosser! They were stripping!

She turned around to ask Nate what kind of joke this was, but Nate simply nodded and told her, screaming over the loud music: "This is Victrola. The new business Bass Industries invested in because of a certain friend of us."

"This can't be true." Blair returned, trying not to ruin her vocal cords.

Analysing the room once more, Blair more and more realized that this WAS true. This was exactly one of the establishments never wanted to see, but that sceamed for the womanizer Chuck Bass.

Watching the strippers, she didn't notice the person that had walked over to them.

"Chuck." Nate smiled at his best friend and gave him a pat on the back. "Only you know how to invite that many people to a party."

"Wait till you've seen the waitresses."

Chuck smiled back and turned to the brunette, who stood beside Nathaniel. She hadn't changed in any way. She was still the beauty he and Nate had known since kindergarden. The only girl he knew he hadn't had sex with and the only one he respected. Maybe because she could be as manipulative as he was.

"Blair."

The girl turned around.

"Chuck. How dare you! This place is so mid-town!"

"Nice to see you, too, Waldorf. How's France?"

"It's been nice. Unlike this place, people keep their level and visit clubs with more grace."

She glanced at him.

"But you never really had class, Bass. So I shouldn't be shocked to find out that this establishment belongs to you." Again she examined the room and smiled.

"I guess it's not that bad after all."

"It's a place to escape."

"Escape what, Bass? The comfort of New York?"

"Reality", Chuck simply answered.

Nate just stood there and listened to the conversation. It was always strange to follow Blair and Chuck's conversations, because they made mental leaps only they understood.

Any outsider, and with Blair and Chuck talking, Nate counted himself as one, wouldn't know if the two of them had an argument or a simply relaxed talk.

They didn't jump at each other and tried to rip each others throahts off, so Nate assumed it had been a nice catch-up.

"See you around later." Chuck smirked when a lightly dressed woman appeared and pulled him away.

Here she discovered another explanation for Chuck investing in this club: getting laid was much easier without reality pressuring you!

-----

**Hello, Upper East Siders.**

**Gossip Girl here.**

We got some nice pictures of Queen B and her Prince Charming entering a certain establishment. Thanks to hunter0143 for sending them in.

Sad if you guys haven't been invited to this "Welcome Back" party :

Seems like C is having himself two girls before midnight. But that's nothing new now, is it?

Some minutes later: N and B having drinks at the bar. Is there something wrong in paradise or why does N seem to be somewhere else with his thoughts? Maybe he's with S who hasn't showed up, yet. Poor B. Back in a relationship and immediately back to be number 2. S is stealing your boyfriend again. Watch your back.

Or is it B who refuses to share the reason of her trip with N? Anyways, you have to be careful B. It's not hard to degrade a prince to groom, but you have to be aware of a rebellion!

What's it going to be?!

Jealousy or insurgency?

I'll find it out.

You know you love me.

**XOXO**

**Gossip Girl**

-----

To be continued!

**A/N:** Ready for a little tabledance? Then look forward to the next chapter!


	5. Drown your sorrow, Drown your pain

**Summary:** 31days-744hours-44640minutes-2678400seconds. That's all what's left of the great Blair Waldorf. 31days is what the doctors have given her. Not more. After discovering the Serena/Nate affair Blair is heading to France. Coming back with only 31days left to live. There's only one thing Blair wants to experience - true love.

**A/N:** OMG. I am so sorry. There is certainly no way you can forgive me in like… EVER! I have been really busy with my life and school and everything and I felt kind of uninspired to write on this story, but that is not an excuse for not writing on my weekends. So I am really, really sorry! Hopefully there are still some people out there who believe in me and this story and give me the gift of a second chance. I won't turn away again and will continue this (this time without months between the chapters) if you still want me to.

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**Chapter 5**

"**Drown your sorrow, drown your pain****"**

**---------**

Nate was standing at the bar, Blair right beside him, when his phone rang with the latest buzz. He didn't even take out his phone, because he already knew it would be Gossip Girl reporting about Blair and him and maybe even Chuck enjoying a lap dance anywhere in this room.

He picked up his glass and took a long sip of his scotch. Another bad habit he had started after Blair's departure. In some ways he had become even more like Chuck, if that was even possible.

He heard a sigh.

"Nate, what are we doing? Or what are you doing? I'm ride here beside you, we just came back together and you're acting like I wasn't even in this room. Or in this country? What is on your mind that makes you act the way you do around me? Do you really want to start our relationship were it ended 2 and a half months ago? Are we back to not talking with each other?"

Nate looked up from his glass and straight into the eye of his high school girlfriend. She really had changed during her stay in France. She wasn't blaming him. Or at least he didn't catch that typical tragic tone in her voice, she used to have back then. She was just standing there, right beside him, looking at him like she had seen the world and didn't like what she had found.

"Nate?", she asked, "Are you even listening?"

He blinked.

"Blair, for over two months I thought you would come back to New York, hoped that you would forgive me and we could start over. I guess, I thought what I did was irreparable and that you would never forgive me and that I was just lying to myself by hoping. But you did. You came back, you forgave me. And somehow…"

"And somehow you didn't want me to.", she finished his sentence.

Blair shook her head, nearly like the night he told her the truth and she couldn't accept it. At least now he knew that the Blair he had known was still there somewhere.

"Are you serious?", she shouted out of the blue.

Now it was him to be surprised. He didn't see a fight coming, especially not with her new attitude. So his only reaction was to just stand there and look at her.

"This can't be true. I came here for you, Nate. I thought maybe those years we spent together meant something to you. That we were always meant to be together like you told me after our first date. Remember? God, I can't believe I was so naïve!", a tear ran down her cheek and he felt the desperate need to wipe it away, to tell her that he could change. Maybe this new Blair was all he always wanted the old one to be like.

But when he raised his hand to gentle wipe away her sadness, she had already wiped away the tear by herself and stared at his hand.

"You can't be serious. Now you decide to be the gentleman again? Great. Then search for a girl who needs you, because apparently I was an idiot to believe I needed you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but now I see you're not worth it."

**---------**

It felt good to say those words right into his face, but at the same time it felt like something was broken within her. Something she knew, she wouldn't be able to fix in time.

'_God, what have I done?',_ she thought.

Just that instance she felt a hand at her back and one moment later chuck was standing right beside her, grinning like the devil himself after torturing some innocent souls.

"You guys know this is a party, right? Although you are a great entertainment for all the rest of us."

"So what are you suggesting, Bass? Should I stop shouting at Nate or would that ruin your night?"

" Feel free to do whatever you want, Waldorf, but I'd prefer to see you both having fun. So come with me and give Nate a little break. You can talk this out tomorrow, after all."

By that Chuck offered her his arm and she took it.

"Look , Blair, I didn't mean to…", Nate tried to say.

But Blair decided to ignore him and walked away with the devil by her site. The thing with Nate was over. He wasn't the Prince she always thought he was. Maybe she had known it a long time ago, even before everything started to get so screwed up. Before Serena left after the Sheppard Wedding.

'_I have been lying to myself my whole life'_, she realized and fought back another tear_, 'I have been lying to myself, but it ends tonight. But this ends tonight.'_

When she was finally noticing her surroundings again, Chuck had guided her to a coach right in front of the stage.

"Sit down and have a drink with me.", Chuck whispered in her ear.

Without a comment she said down and took the next champagne glass that was in her sight and drowned it.

Chuck took a seat right beside her and with a smirk, filled up her glass once more.

"Seems like you finally learned how to use alcohol when you were in France. Nice job, Waldorf."

When she had drowned the second glass of champagne she replied:

"Not at all, Bass. But a few minutes ago you told me this was a place to escape reality. And that's what I plan on doing tonight."

She held the empty glass right under Chuck's nose and said with a sweet smile that only Blair managed to pull off: "Time for a refill."

And the devil obeyed.

_To be continued_

**---------**

**A/N:** I guess this chapter didn't really have the table dance in it, yet. But that's to come. At least I plan on it in the next chapter. Somehow this story got its own life.

Please review, because that's what inspires me the most.


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